Atheism
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Mh

Imoteph, a Beef Monkey.

Beemonkism is the belief in a God known as Imoteph, an egyptian God in Monkey Form. Also known as the Monkey of the fruit of knowledge. A Beef Monkey is it's real form, and minion, they have the power to jump on people's heads; instantly killing them. If their religion is rejected they have the power to destroy the cosmic horizon.

Creation

Imoteph and the Beef Monkeys were created by themselves on the planet of Gallifrey, coincidently they were ancestors of the Time Lords, the mightiest and most knowledgeful beings who have ever existed, who had control of the TARDIS', time machines. Imoteph later moved to Earth because of housing problems and took refuge in Egypt, later to become Imotephi, god of all beef.

Powers

  • Power of Flight
  • Sand Manipulation
  • Time Manipulation
  • Teleportation
  • Human Flesh-to-beef conversion
  • Rapid Cell Regen

Ways to destroy a Beef Monkey minion

  • Call upon God. (Might not work)
  • Do nothing.
  • Reject the religion, this will 'cause said hostile monkey to die, killing you also.
  • Don't.
  • Stab it with Yggdrasill's knife of everlasting--
  • Throw a duracell battery at said monkey.
  • Kill yourself, you're hallucinating. Beef Monkeys aren't real... or are they?
  • Throw some Anti-matter at it.
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