Sadly not all priests are careful about being in good condition before they celebrate Mass. Colm O'Gorman at the age of 14 was raped and repeatedly abused by notorious pedophile priest, Fr Sean Fortune, below is Colm O'Gorman’s account of how much respect Fr Sean Fortune had for the Mass and the Eucharist.

On Sunday mornings, after Fortune had abused me, he'd leave me in his bed, in the bedroom in the house there, and come down and say first mass. And I remember that he used to come back after saying first mass, and... sometimes abuse me again. And then I'd have to go downstairs with him and have breakfast, and then come down here for the second mass, and sit and watch him say mass. [1]

That was a priest who said Mass with literally dirty hands.

After a priest has done abuse he should not cause suspicion by keeping the congregation waiting. If the priest has time there are two priorities:-

  1. The creepy priest should go to Confession so he can be in a fit state to handle the sacred host.
  2. The creepy priest should wash his hands so he can avoid spreading germs.

Of the two going to confession is more important, so if the creepy priest is pressed for time there could be germs on the sacred host when he puts it into your mouth.

Roman Catholics adore Jesus relatively safely, you book time kneeling, sitting or whatever in a church before the monster monstrance, (that is the name of the sacred vessel where they put those Jesus crackers) and you just do your favourite spiritual thing near the crackers avoiding any possible infection. [2] But Jesus commanded the faithful to eat him as well as adoring him [3] so at least occasionally you must expose yourself to whatever may be on the hands of that creepy priest. [4]

See also[]

There is a good and a a bad side to Christianity, see the category page


  1. Sex Crimes and the Vatican
  2. What is Eucharistic Adoration?
  3. Eucharistic: Adore Or Eat
  4. We hope you like these jokes, the RC's are really sensitive about jokes that criticise them. We also hope the jokes add publicity over the RC abuse scandal and add pressure onto the RC church to put its dirty house in order.